I just taught the best Private Yoga session ever! 

Seriously though, I love working with yogis one-on-one, there is so much to be gained, both for you, the practitioner, and for me, the teacher. 

Here are THREE reasons why you should invest in yourself!

FIRST: We've all heard that yoga can heal. But can yoga be effective in a public class, where the teacher's attention is divided among 20 different people, all with unique bodies, strengths and limitations? Sort of, but it requires an incredible amount of knowledge and awareness from the practitioner to facilitate their own healing within that framework. Better, if a teacher can work one-on-one with a student, then that very skilled teacher can pinpoint areas of strength, weakness, tightness or laxity, then provide specific cues, actions, engagements and releasing, to better facilitate the healing process.

SECOND: You work REALLY HARD, so an hour is a lot of work! In a Private session we can cover a lot of ground. And because all attention is on you, and you want to do your best, you work really hard to do it right! The time invested is well spent. 

THIRD: What do you want out of your yoga practice? Want to get stronger? More flexible? Better backbends? Or, more relax and restore? Meditation? Breathing? What you want out of it is what you get. It's YOUR class! A Private session is neither whatever the teacher feels like teaching that day, nor a conglomeration of poses thrown together from conversations at check-in as to what various students would like to address in that class. A Private session is YOURS and only yours. So, what do YOU want to accomplish today?

Are you interested?

Contact me for details:
[email protected]
www.indieflowyoga.com
fb: Kristen Boyle Indieflowyoga
i: Indieflowyoga
t: Indieflowyoga

SACRIFICE. 
I have been considering this word a lot lately. 
My very recent story is that I left my husband in pursuit of me. Of my truth. Of my dreams. 
Why? Because my SELF was being sacrificed in our relationship. 
And I don't mean that he demanded this or that of me, but in subtle ways, yes, he did. He demanded what he needed, and the direction I needed to grow could not meet his needs.
I was accused of being neglectful to our family. 
I was in one conversation supported as I reached further, set new goals, stretched to grow in new ways. In the next conversation questioned, suspected, and accused.
Essentially, I was giving up ME in that relationship.
So I left it. (and it wasn't easy... in fact, it took years.)

I have been supported by some and questioned by some. The questions come when I say I was sacrificing me. 
"But sacrifice is a part of marriage, a part of motherhood..." they say. 
Yes, to some extent, I agree.

How much is sacrificed within that relationship, and moreover, how much is sacrificed in the definition of Self within the Relationship? That is the critical question.

As a wife I sacrificed dinner dates, happy hours, friends, the things you do as a young, child-free (pet-free), single person, to spend more time with my husband. This was mostly an easy sacrifice. I wanted to be with my husband. He was after all, my best friend, my support, my chosen partner in life. Did I miss the fun friendships and interactions with friends? Yes. Of course I did. Did I regret not going out with them? Not really. It was important to me, it was a priority to me, to be with my husband. And we had good times together. We really, truly did. And, I grew. My Self grew, through our sharing. My Self grew within our relationship.

As a mother I sacrificed my career. My days became focused on my family and my home. There were groceries to buy, meals to plan and cook, there was cleaning, diapers, laundry. And yes, there was also fun - playing, engaging with my children, long walks, outings, and playdates. I found a new social group through other new mothers. My life shifted in a new direction. In a good direction. One in which I also grew. My Self grew. This too was an easy sacrifice. I wanted most of all to be with my children, to organize my life in such a way that I could be there for them in the best possible manner. 

And during all this time, I continued to stay true to my Self, and I did that best through my yoga practice, and eventually through my yoga teaching. Yoga became increasingly important to ME, especially as my relationship with my husband turned.

When my kids both were of school age, I began to reach out and to DO more. More of what filled ME up. More of what allowed my SELF to grow. I taught more classes, added more to my schedule. 

And YET, when my kids were sick, I sacrificed my teaching... and I was happy to do it. I was happy to be home for them, to comfort them how they needed me to. 

I was happy to sacrifice my teaching and practice when there was a field trip, an activity at school, a school holiday. I was happy to sacrifice my yoga so we could enjoy a family vacation, a day of skiing, a special event.

And still, within my relationship, I was accused of neglect.

And it took me years to figure this out, but eventually I realized I was losing my Self.

So you tell me that sacrifice comes with being a wife, with being a mother, and I do agree. Yet, how much sacrifice is within balance of Self? That is the critical question. How much sacrifice still allows for personal growth within the definition of your relationship, within your own story, and how much causes loss of Self?

Only you can answer that question.

But I invite you to explore it and see what comes up.

Have you been wanting to begin a practice of meditation but don’t know where to start? This is a very simply How To, which I hope will highlight for you how a meditation practice can be as simple as you want it to be.

I always like to begin with a working definition:



med·i·ta·tion [ mèddi táysh'n ]
1.emptying or concentration of mind: the emptying of the mind of thoughts, or the concentration of the mind on one thing, in order to aid mental or spiritual development, contemplation, or relaxation

2.pondering of something: the act of thinking about something carefully, calmly, seriously, and for some time, or an instance of such thinking

3.serious study of topic: an extended and serious study of a topic

For our purposes, we will work with definition #1 – an emptying or concentration of the mind.

Why would we want to empty the mind? Basically, to quiet the chatter. Patanjali’s Yoga Sutra 1.2 says yogash-chitra-vritti –nirodhah, or “Yoga is the cessation of the fluctuations of the mind.” (More about the Sutras in another post!)

We live in a busy world, and within the business of the world, we have much to do each day. Beyond to-do’s, we also have our inner dialogue, or discourse with our selves, and constantly chatters to us… chitra vritti can also be loosely translated as “mind chatter”. This is often a conversation like, “I need to go to the store and pick up dry-cleaning so maybe I should do the dry-cleaning first but oh wait my favorite café is around the corner, maybe it’s time for a latte oh shoot I already had a latte and I’m trying to cut back so back to dry-cleaning…” ever had that conversation with your Self?

Through the practice of meditation, we hope to quiet the chitra vritti of the mind, enabling us to see and think more clearly. To focus, to find calm. To remove the hectic. Through mediation we are able to calm the Central Nervous System, bring us out of “Fight or Flight” mode (lower brain) and into the higher, thinking brain, thereby creating the space to choose how to move forward rather than remaining in a state of reaction.

More on that another time!

Here are my almost 10 Tips!

1. Pick a time that works well for you consistently.


For me, this is 6am, right when I wake up. For others this might be a welcome lunch break. And others, evening right before bed might be a great time to let go of the day for a restful sleep.

2. Find a place where you can sit without being interrupted.

This I think is the most challenging part! But, every home has a place, inside or outside. Seek it out, and place the items you will need for meditation in it. Maybe that is a pillow, a candle, a comfy sweater or blanket. I sit in front of the fireplace, on a pillow, with a candle and my yogatimer app on my phone, with a fuzzy blanket when it’s cold.

3. In preparation for meditation, take a moment to write down your To Do List.

If you are like me, your To Do List will BE your meditation if you don’t get it out first (!) and that gets you nowhere but Anxiousville. It might help to get it out!

4. Take a comfortable seat.

“What do you mean, ‘take a comfortable seat?’” you might ask… If you aren’t asking, you’re good, skip to step 5.

I like to perch at the edge of a pillow – a throw pillow like one that decorates your couch, not über-squishy one you use for sleeping. Sit cross-legged. Let your pelvis tilt slightly forward, so you can feel the two bones on your bottom pressing into the cushion… these are technically called the ischium, but “sits bones” is the most common term. Feel them. They support your weight while you sit. The very slight forward tilt of the pelvis is important, as it creates and protects the integrity of the lumbar curve of the spine (low back) that gets compromised as we sit tucked under and unsupported. (more on that topic another time too!)

If your knees or hips are not comfortable here, try building your seat – you can stack cushions as high as you need to, and get your hips higher than your knees. That might help. Still not comfy? At least not comfy enough to sit for 5+ minutes without squirming? Try a chair, sit on the edge so the sits bones are pressing into the chair.

5. Take a deep breath in, sigh it out.

6. Enjoy a deeper breath into the belly, and a fuller breath out.

7. Inhale and Exhale through the nose only. Then begin to set bring your breath to a 1:1 ratio, so the length of the inhale equals the length of the exhale. Start with a count of 4. If that feels comfortable, shift to a 5, a 6, a 7. When you’ve reached your longest number still inhaling and exhaling with ease, stay there. This breath not only calms the Central Nervous System, but also calms specifically the emotional state.

8. Recite your mantra, either silently or aloud. You may either breathe in the entire word or phrase, then breathe out the word or phrase, or split the phrase into an inhalation and exhalation, depending on the phrase length.

If you have not yet decided on a mantra, begin with “Let Go”. Inhale the word “Let”, exhale the word “Go”. (More on mantras in a future post as well!)

9. Stay there. If at some point you notice you have dropped your mantra and your mind is clear, that is OK. Stay with it, return to your mantra.

Begin with a goal of 5 minutes for your meditation practice. Do this every day. After a week, add a minute. Add another minute the next week. Slowly and steadily your meditation practice will grow.

You can set a timer if that helps you to free your mind to know you won’t sit so long you miss a meeting. There are also a lot of apps these days with various names such as “yoga timer” that are a beautiful asset to a meditation practice.

If you are still having trouble clearing your mind, I have one more suggestion. Sometimes subtle music, such as Tibetan bowls, is helpful. You can find individual songs or entire albums on itunes, Spotify or youtube.


I am interested in hearing how it goes for you, so please leave a comment or join the conversation on facebook, at Indieflow Yoga or Denver Yoga Mamas.

Happy meditating!

Done is better than Good!

Elizabeth Gilbert (Author of Eat, Pray, Love) posted this to her facebook page, and said this is her mother's motto. As a writer, I can imagine that Elizabeth herself deals with this idea on a daily basis. You can always make your writings better, more clear, differently phrased for the right effect, right? But at some point done is better than good.






The motto resonated with me because I struggle with this as I plan and teach my yoga classes. I struggle with this when I practice Asana. I struggle with this when I meditate.

And it is this exact struggle that so often prevents me from getting it DONE! (Such as writing this blog entry!) If I cannot do it well, then I won't do it. Well, my friend, sometimes, DONE is good enough. Sometimes DONE IS BETTER THAN GOOD. It's DONE!

So, let's apply this to my yoga classes.

In my classes, I want to deliver the best, most solid, well-themed class every single time. I want to move you, to make you think on a physical as well as emotional and spiritual level. I want to do all these things every single time I take the seat as the teacher.

But I can't! Try as I might, I cannot accomplish that. Some themes will land and others will flop. Some sequencing will make sense, and others you will feel unprepared for the challenge of the posture. Some days you will be experiencing enough of your own shit that you won't hear what I am saying, and that is OK too!

A wise teacher once said "commit to the pose, but loosen the effort just enough to BE in the pose."

This is now my motto as I plan my next class, my next theme, my next sequence. I will commit to this class I am teaching, then I will loosen the effort to BE. To allow the class to unfold as it does.

Now apply it to my yoga practice.

Sometimes I practice yoga, and walk away thinking, "That was my best practice ever!" I nailed the peak posture, I was strong, grounded, my body was open to the unfolding. Other times I walk away thinking, "What a flop, I should have stayed in bed." Either one is an attachment to that particular class, that particular practice. And in the end, it is DONE. And isn't that better than having not done? Isn't that better than good?

And it's not just about the pose - it is about LIFE. As we teach ourselves to "non-attach", we also live in this world and in order to get anything done, we must commit ourselves to doing it. Yet, we must at the same time, loosen the effort just enough to allow life to unfold as it will.

And in the end, it is DONE. And DONE is better than good.

Sometimes it is good enough - even better than good - just to get it done.

Wow, AWKWARD!

The word has come up recently in far too many conversations for me to ignore. When that happens, I must explore.

A teacher I highly respect said the other day, "The only thing standing between YOU and EXCELLENCE is AWKWARDNESS."

Powerful thought.

Then, another teacher and friend posted a meme on facebook, "Excuse me, I am in that awkward stage between birth and death."

And I laughed so hard, it resonated with me simply way too much!

The next day as I taught my regular All-Levels Vinyasa class at Kindness Yoga, well, it was... AWkWArD! Bummer!

Something was pressing me deeper...

Yoga chittra vittri nirodha...
"Yoga is the cessation of the fluctuations of the mind."
(Patanjali, Yoga Sutra 1.2)

What this meant to me:
We can lose the awkward through our practice of yoga. (Gosh, what can we NOT do through yoga?!) 

I don't know about you, but I feel most awkward when Eloise is talking to me (haha, little inside my brain joke there!) Seriously though, I have decided to name my awkward self, my vata self that has so much difficulty grounding herself, Eloise. It is the best way I can deal with her, by acknowledging her as a part of me, a part I may not enjoy, but I must embrace. (Because my pitta self is ever so frustrated with her! I have yet to name my pitta self, she doesn't rear her fiery head too often...)

So, when Eloise is talking to me, it is when in any given situation, my mind chatter, the chatter that says a little too loudly, "maybe you should choose the red one, no the blue because it matches your eyes, and oh geez now someone is watching you so you'd better stop looking like a nutter and choose already, oh why are you so indecisive?"

You get me?

When that chatter is too loud, and you give it your attention, that is awkward. And THAT is exactly what is standing between YOU and EXCELLENCE.

Yoga chittra vittri nirodha.
Yoga is the cessation of the fluctuations of the mind.

When we still our mind, we find quiet.

When we find quiet, we are able to listen in.

When we listen in, we hear our own heart speaking softly.

When we hear our own heart, we allow ourselves to speak our truth.

When we speak our truth, we speak from a place of steadfastness and grace. A place of confidence and power.

And that, my friends, is EXCELLENCE.

(Special thanks to Patrick and Ellen!)

Handstand. I got this.

But I haven't got it just yet. What's holding me back?

Well, the wall. But wait, that's what's holding me up! But again, no, what's holding me up are my arms, my hands, my core...

My... Own... Strength.

Strength that I have developed, cultivated, created. My own strength.

So why the wall?

We learn much through our yoga asana practice - through our physical experience of the postures. We learn how we approach a posture, how we hold a posture, how we allow an experience to unfold within ourselves, and through that we learn about how we approach life.

So here we are at my tango with the wall. I've had handstand at the wall for a while - probably close to 2 years. But have I tried handstand without that support? Without the one who holds me up (so I believe), the one who says "I've got your back"?

Nope!

What does that tell me about myself? Maybe I like feeling that support, maybe that I am afraid to fall (to fail) to take a step (or jump or leap) away from my friend the wall.

Here we are at a New Year, a New Beginning... 2014. It's time to take that leap! And I will start with handstand. I will get away from that wall.

What leap will you take in 2014?

Congratulations! You're PREGNANT!

Oh, the long-awaited (yet all too often surprising and overwhelming)
+ sign on that little test strip.

Whether you were planning this or not, there are many questions that immediately come to mind... and one of those might be, "Oh, how will I stay fit through pregnancy? I am excited to be having a baby, but I don't want to lose my body!"

While this question brings up many debates, it IS a valid question, and I want to address it honestly. As women in our Western culture, many of us work hard to maintain some level of fitness - whether you are a marathoner or triathlete, or you put in the consistent effort because it makes you feel good - I commend us all for that! Fitness is a key to health. And when we have established that level of health, and we know what it feels like to feel good, we don't want to give that up, because we also know what it feels like to feel "bad", and bad can mean missing a workout for x number of days. I know this from my own experience! If I don't exercise (read: practice yoga), I get grouchy, I feel bloated, I eat poorly, then all hell breaks loose! (Not really, but seriously!)

So, here is another question, yoginis! Should you continue practicing yoga during pregnancy, and if so, how? where? how often?

We have all heard that yoga is good for pregnancy... and the answers to this question are as diverse as yoga!

On one hand, you can seek out a yoga studio that caters to your particular stage in life, offering only pre- and
post-natal yoga, plus perhaps a number of other classes and services that you can explore as your belly and your family grows.

But if you are a yogini who has been practicing at X studio for 10 years, has a strong practice, but also a desire to connect with other pregnant women as well as continue your own practice, what then?

Well, you don't have to leave your studio, your Kula - your tribe. Many studios also offer a Prenatal Yoga class on a regular basis - either weekly, or as a workshop.

Whatever it is you seek, I highly encourage (did you see that? highly encourage...) you to try a PRENATAL specific class - some sort of Prenatal class, ANY sort! And here's why, according to the teachings of the Niyamas, as laid out by Patanjali in his Yoga Sutras, those ancient teachings that tell us how to conduct ourselves in this life.

First of all, because of Sangha - or community. Through Prenatal Yoga, you have the opportunity to connect with like-minded women in the same stage of life.

1. Saucha - purity - take care of yourself - sleep, eating right, allowing for space and time to breathe. There is a myth out there about pregnancy. That myth is that pregnancy is a time to let yourself go. To eat ice cream and pickles, to lay on the couch and catch up on the last 5 seasons of Mad Men. Here's news - it's not! It is a time to get straight with what your body really needs. To begin to listen to it... underlying those cravings of ice cream and pickles is actually an indication of something your body needs. And yes, you do need more rest than you needed pre-pregnancy. And you need exercise. Yoga will help - will support you - as you seek what is the right balance for you.

2. Santosha - contentment - be where you are, accept that life is unfolding just as it should; live in the present, as it applies to where you are in your pregnancy. Pregnancy is a time when we are inundated with information, with do's and do-not's, advice from well-meaning friends, aunts, in-laws and the lady behind you in the check-out line... and it all can get ever-so overwhelming. Be content that the choices you make right now are based on the knowledge that YOU have in this precise moment of your life. Accept that those choices are the absolute best choices based on the knowledge that you have, and be content with that... because, why would you do anything less?

3. Tapas - practice - your yoga practice in and of itself has SO many benefits and connections to the birth process and your transformation into motherhood, from breathing to focus to opening up and letting go. BUT, these benefits won't be taught in a general group class, at least not specifically. That special connection, that "how yoga can help YOU", and drawing the line from yoga to pregnancy and motherhood, will only be spoken about in a specific Prenatal Yoga class. And, it is valuable! (VALUABLE!)

4. Svadhyaya - self-study or reflection - examine what pregnancy means in your life, holding the truth that is to come, how your life will change, and reflecting on YOU, how you will take on all the joys, the challenges, the hopes, dreams, and disappointments. The act of self-reflection, of truly knowing your SELF, will assist and support you when you encounter the times to come.

5. Ishvara Pranidhana - Learn the gentle art of S U R R E N D E R. I mean it! The act of birth is an act of letting go - from physically letting go so your baby can enter the world, to letting go and knowing that your child is of you, but is not you. Letting go to the birth process, knowing that you are not in control and being OK with that. Letting go of your need to look like you did at 21 in your bikini. Letting go of the preconceived ideas of motherhood, so you can experience your own journey rather than someone else's. Letting go.

There are so many more reasons to practice Prenatal Yoga, and I could go on and on. I hope that this short list, described through Patanjali's wisdom, has helped you to realize how yoga can support you through all that is to come.

Join me at Kindness Collective, January 19th, for a 6-week Prenatal Yoga workshop! Register here: http://bit.ly/1bascTf

I love these weeks between the holidays, almost more than any other time of the year... from Thanksgiving through the New Year. It's an exciting time of giving ...and receiving, of love and hope.
But all of this frenetic energy can leave me feeling ungrounded and overwhelmed. 
 When I feel ungrounded, I like to take a seat, and with each breath, ask myself the three most important questions... then let the answers come, and be at peace.